Brooke Leigh Binning

I had always heard that childbirth was one of the most painful experiences a woman would have to bear, but in all, one of the most precious experiences she would ever face. I had the AWESOME opportunity of experiencing both on June 11, 1998.
It was a hot summer day, the sun was shining bright and there was joy and excitement in the air. The thoughts of bringing a baby into this world were more than I could take. I had so many hopes and dreams for the little miracle that was about to be born. I couldn’t wait to feel my newborn baby for the first time and hold this precious little bundle of joy close to my heart. I had already known what it felt like to love her even before she was born, but I was about to meet the one that I had loved for the previous nine months and have a face to go with the undying love I had already for her.
I laid there in the maternity ward waiting for the moment I had longed for the past nine months, thinking of ALL the wonderful things that were about to change in my life. I was daydreaming in the midst of my labor pains about what it was going to feel like to hear my baby cry for the first time, to wipe away her tears, to watch her roll over, crawl, learn how to walk and take her first steps, to hear her first words spoken, to watch her ride a bike with training wheels and eventually get to where she could balance herself without the training wheels, to watch her play hopscotch and play underneath a water sprinkler, to watch the joy and excitement on her face as she achieved all these things and to have her come to me for words of praise for all of her accomplishments. But most of all, I couldn’t wait to hear my child say “I love you mommy” and give me sweet little goodnight kisses as I would tuck her into bed after a fulfilling day of play and learning. She came into my life at 5:20 p.m. She weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz. And she was 20 inches long. She was the most beautiful human being my eyes have EVER seen. I named her Brooke Leigh. Little did I know at that time, this child I was holding in my arms would also be a child who would be dependent on these arms of love to hold her until she leaves this world. At the time of her birth, I was a single parent and her new residence would be with a loving, accepting family that consisted of my dad, my mother, my older sister and her and I. We brought her home the day after she was born. My mother prepared the house for her arrival and she had everything in tip-top shape for Brooke’s living arrangements. The moment she entered the door for the first time, with her entered joy, laughter, excitement and happiness. Little did we know that also down the road, our house would be filled with challenges, heartaches and tears.
For the first three months everything seemed to be going fine. She seemed to be happy and healthy and acting as any other three month old would. Since she was my first and only child, I didn’t realize that she SHOULD be holding her head up and kicking her legs much more than what she was.
She had regular check-ups and the doctors seemed to not notice anything wrong. Finally my mother brought it to my attention that we really needed to get her checked out because something wasn’t right with her, something was a little off with what she should be doing at this point, we just couldn’t figure out what it was. After a few more doctor visits and my explanations of what I was witnessing with her, and them telling me that I was an over anxious mother, that some children are slower than others to develop, I just didn’t feel like they were being completely honest with me. I prayed about the situation and that I would find the right doctor who would notice her weakness and find us the help that we would need for Brooke and the support that the rest of the family would need. After a few weeks of constant praying, I found the doctor that we so desperately needed. We arrived in her examining room and she was checking Brooke out and almost immediately knew that something was wrong and she set us up with a neurologist who specializes in pediatrics. When we arrived in his office, we were not prepared for the words we were about to hear him say to us. He explained her weaknesses with us and mentioned that it could be a couple of things, ALL which were life threatening disorders. The one that stood out the most and the one he felt that it definitely was, was SPINAL MUSCULAR ATROPHY (better known as SMA). I asked him if this was something that could be cured and his response to me was “NO”. My mother asked him if it is terminal, and he said in a sad voice, “YES”. We sat there for what seemed like hours trying to soak in what we had just heard. Brooke was lying on the examining table with a BIG smile on her face and just as happy as could be. I grabbed her off the table and held her close in my arms, tears streaming down my face. I just found it so hard to believe that the little girl I had delivered just four months earlier was now face with a life expectancy of 2~3 years. At that moment, I felt like my whole world and all the hopes and dreams I had for her were ripped apart. The doctor told me and my mother that he still wanted us to see a specialist at Oschner Hospital in New Orleans, La. He would be able to give her the correct diagnosis. Brooke was diagnosed with SPINAL MUSCULAR ATROPHY on December 15, 1998. Basically what he told us was to go home and enjoy her while we still have her. There was NOTHING they could do. Bringing her home from the hospital that day was different than bringing her home the day she was born. This was the day that challenges, heartaches and tears entered our door. All I knew to do was to love her with ALL my heart and to care for this special child the best I could. I relied on strength and understanding from the Lord above to get me through this new road in my life. He has been gracious to me and my family and provided for us what we needed to get us through these trying times.
Brooke had NEVER sat up, NEVER walked, NEVER crawled, she NEVER could do the ordinary things that kids do. But the best part is, she could do so much more. She changed my life in a way so different than an ordinary kid could. She was the MOST precious individual you would have the privilege of meeting. She had a tender, loving , giving, caring heart unlike any other I have EVER seen. She had a grace about her that would melt you. The words that came out of her mouth took my breath away. She constantly wore a smile and wiped my tears away with her weak little hands. She had a way of touching the hearts and souls of those she met even for the first time. So many lives have been deeply and forever touched by my little angel sent from God. I will NEVER see my daughter go through 12 years of school and recitals, NEVER see her go to her prom, NEVER see her go through her first heartache over a boy, NEVER see her go off to college, NEVER see her get married and have children of her own. There are so many things that I will NEVER have the opportunity of experiencing with my child. But there is NOTHING I would trade for this in the world. I wouldn’t have had my Brooke Leigh Binning any other way than I did. It is enough for me that I had a child who was so in love with me and even put me first above herself, trusted me and my undying love for her, needed me to be not only her mother but also her best friend until the day she died.
When her time here on earth was completed and she had finished God’s will and purpose in her life, my love for her still continues to go on until I meet her again one day in heaven. There I will see her doing ALL the things that she was not capable of doing here and so much more. That is enough for me to know that NOW she is perfect and made complete.
I owe EVERYTHING to her for the way that she has touched my life and has given me the love that no one could ever give. All the hopes and dreams that I had for her in the labor room on June 11,1998 NEVER compared to the life and joy and love that she had given me and so much more. She taught me what it feels like to have an undying love for a child. Thank you for that Brooke Leigh Binning!!!
I am so thankful for the life that she had here. She lived a full life and was happy ALL the time with the body that God had placed her in to live her life. Sure, she had a lot of struggles through her little life, but she went through her pain and struggles with a smile on her face and love in her heart. She was my HERO!!!
On September 30,2002 I got married to a wonderful man and Brooke was so thrilled for me and she was my flower girl at our wedding. Through my marriage she received a daddy, a brother and a sister. My husband had two children from a previous marriage and Brooke loved and adored them as though they were her blood siblings. I praise God for allowing Brooke to experience the joys of having her own family. On December 13,2002 I took Brooke to the mall to see Santa Clause and he asked her what she would like for CHRISTmas and she told him that she wanted a new house, then on December 16,2002 I took her to a CHRISTmas party at her daddy’s office and there she saw Santa Clause too and he asked her what she wanted for CHRISTmas and once again she told him a new house. December 18,2002 God gave her a mansion in heaven. Brooke’s request was answered by none other than God the Father. WOW, what a CHRISTmas gift she received!!!!
She left my arms to enter the arms of Jesus at 12:01 a.m. on December 18, 2002. I have to say that although I was over taken by pain at my loss, I couldn’t help but to be happy for her. I know and believe with ALL my heart that the life she now has is far better than what she had here. It is AWESOME to think that God gave to me a piece of heaven here on earth that was through her. Her earthly life reflected NOTHING less than Jesus Christ’s love, grace and mercy to everyone she encountered.
She will FOREVER be missed and loved by those that were left behind. In fact, I would like to honor those people now that also touched her life here:
Pop~Pop (Her grandfather that she loved and adored with all her heart) Thank you dad for being there for me and Brooke. You meant so much to Brooke and she loved everything about you. She was so proud of her Pop~Pop and couldn’t wait to spend time in your presence.
Pam~Pam (Her grandmother that she thought the world of) Thank you mom for helping me raise Brooke in a good Christian environment. You and daddy taught me so much on being a good mother to Brooke. She loved you like a second mom to her.
Aunt Donna (Her best buddy and Bible reading partner) Thank you Donna for all the countless hours you spent reading and teaching Brooke about God and His love for Brooke and also about heaven. She loved every minute with you. You were such a good friend and aunt to her.
Aunt Crystal (I know that she would have loved to know you better) Crystal, even though you and Brooke did not get to spend a lot of time getting to know each other better, you were still there for her on the phone and computer. She loved getting on the web cam to see you and chat with you. I know that you know that she loved you dearly.
Granpa Lodge and Grandma Earlene (Although they were her step grandparents who live in Illinois, she really adored them in the short time that she knew them) Thank you Lodge and Earlene for opening your hearts to me and Brooke. She truly loved you both.
Bradley (Her step brother that she enjoyed living with) Thank you Bradley for being a BIG brother to Brooke. She enjoyed your company and enjoyed getting on your nerves too!!! (HAHA)
BethAnn (Oh, how she adored and loved her stepsister) Thank you BethAnn for being a BIG sister to Brooke. She loved you whole heartedly.
Kevin (She was so proud of her new daddy and loved him sooooooo much) Kevin, what more can I say? I think Brooke proved her love for you over and over again!!! Thank you for stepping in and filling the role of her father.